The FirstNerve BurrOmeter: Barely a Pulse

Name drops: 1

Andy Warhol

Bonus points:

Perfumers: 0 
French: 0

French Product Names: 4 

Helpful translations of French product names: 4

Nonsensical fragrance descriptions: 2

distilling the scent of the ocean’s salty green brine

[Distilled ocean water smells like . . . distilled water.—FN ]

scent of palm trees

Department of Redundancy Department Bonus Points: 2

most visceral, and wonderful
It is viscerally evocative

Un Jardin en Mediterranee
the scent of figs and palm trees in a Mediterranean garden

Recycled Copy Bonus Points: 1

aquifer water

Calibration factor for new micro-mini review format: 10^-1

Total BurrOmeter reading for Ocean Currents: 1.4 milliburrs

Outlook: Stagnant air stalled over New York.