Get Your Chakra On

“Het-Heru Maatkeru is the goddess of magical scents.

Neato! How did she get that gig? By

“bridging the physical and spiritual realms using smell as the vehicle.

Evidently she’s tapped the “insight and traditions of the ancient Egyptians” to create “incredulous scents that vibrate with high frequency.”

Whoa. Is there a vibration theorist in the house? Paging Thomas Prevenslik. Maybe he can explain how high frequencies produce “incredulous” scents.

The Goddess has transublimated herself to the ethereal plane of PRWeb to disclose the latest:

Het-Heru has unveiled yet another dimension to her mastery, “The 28 Day Chakra Balancing Program.” “The 28 Day Chakra Balancing Program,” is a mesmerizing blend of exotic essentials oils created to coincide with the seven sacred power points within us all, known as chakras.

OK people, let’s stimulate those chakras. Boom, chakra, boom, chakra, boom, boom, boom! And remember,

we can activate ancient power daily by connecting with our higher selves through our sense of smell and touch.

Wait. I have a higher self? Where the hell is he? Probably off having a daiquiri while I pound out the blog posts. Lazy bastard.

Exit question: What happens when the Professeur de Parfums meets the Goddess of Magical Scents?