Annals of Marketing: Blood, Sex and Alibis

This concept is so irreducibly dumb it might succeed. The Alibi line of fragrances, produced by a South African lap dance club, provides olfactory camouflage and plausible deniability for guys who return home after a night of slipping tens and twenties into G-strings.

For example, My Car Broke Down is said to recreate the scent of fuel, burnt rubber, grease and steel, while I Was Working Late packs the odour of coffee, wool suits, cigarettes and ink.

Now if they could only solve the problem of the telltale glitter . . .

A while back we covered the quiet takeover of Human Pheromone Sciences by fan-forum-bundler masquerading as social-media-company CrowdGather, and how they planned an eau de Geek. Well, c’est arrivé.

Erox, [is] a unisex fragrance that CrowdGather claims is the first to contain a combination of two synthetic human pheromones, androstadienone and estratetraenol, and HPS’s patent-pending compound muiricin angluycone (ER303)

According to CEO Sanjay Sabnani, “the celebrity spokesperson for Erox will be model and reality star Adrianne Curry.” [Adrianne who? The one whose family owns the Palms in Las Vegas?—Ed.] No. [The romance writer?—Ed.] No! [Not that chick from Celebrity Paranormal Project?—Ed.] Yes, that one!

We’ve been thinking about vampires since watching The Hunger on Netflix the other night. It stars David Bowie and the ever-hot Catherine Deneuve. The latter also gets herself twisted in the sheets with Susan Sarandon who, although eight years past Rocky Horror, hadn’t yet become a full-fledged Hollywood activist-crone.

Deneuve once had her own perfume which, if memory serves, wasn’t half bad. So blood and scent were on our mind when this brand idea popped up: “A scent to suit your blood group.”

Italian niche brand Blood Concept has developed four unisex perfumes based around the four main blood types: A, B, AB and O.

These are perfumes based on ‘the actual smell of blood’, with creators describing all four as having underriding ‘vague metallic suspicions’.

Sure, why not?

According to rumor, Lady Gaga wants to spike her upcoming fragrance with a drop of her own blood. For some reason, this reminded us of an old limerick.

There was a young vampire called Mable,
Whose periods were heavy yet stable,
At every full moon,
She took out a spoon,
And drank herself under the table.

À votre santé!