Bonfire of the Vanities

You want to give a guy credit for trying to do the right thing, but when the outcome is this stupendously bad you have to wonder.

A homeless man is in Northampton County Prison after he allegedly set a fire to mask a foul smell wafting from a restroom at a vacant restaurant in south Bethlehem.

The fire got out of control and the fellow is charged with arson.

Apparently, Burwell tried to create his own air freshener with wood chips and paper towels. He took wood chips that he found in the garage, placed paper towels underneath and then lit it up in the restroom sink.

Lighting a single match is the usual ritual atonement for fouling the air in a bathroom—what on earth did he do that required a bonfire?

Court documents were silent on what caused the stench in the nonfunctioning toilet.

Oh.